Me , myself and I


The last year has been heavy at times and have cause me to reflect myself and my values and personality several times.  Triggers were my new function at work and the pandemic (and everybody's elses reactions to it).  I've written about it already.  

I've been confronted with my perfectionism again this year.  Very weird because I am a total slob when it comes to household and some other things. And yet professionally it can paralize me. Then I can only focus on the long list of things that should get improved and where I feel responsible for. 

But I also learned I have a lot of empathy for others. While I might seem a bit distant (at first) from others and while I like to be on my own, I really feel for others.  For that reason I feel very responsible for my team and customers and want that all goes in the best possible way...which isn't always the case in reality.
But during this pandemic, it also makes it very easy for me to understand the need for restricting measures. While I don't fear the virus too much for myself (you never know but I suppose I'd not suffer too much from Covid),  I find it very important to not be a link in a potential contamination chain. 

Values of fairness, equality and honesty are very important to me.

Linked to that, it became very obvious this year that so many people struggle with rules and restrictions.  I, on the other hand has always been very strict to agreements, rules, deadlines, ... You can disagree and discuss but never break an agreement one-sided.  When I had just met Jan, he surprised me with tickets for a U2 concert but I had a goodbye dinner in the Netherlands with a friend/ colleague so I declined him.  That seemed very obvious to me.  In my memory of one of my first youth camps, I remember my irritation for other children not being silent and quiet at bedtime as requested.  There is not many drops of rebel blood flowing through my veins. 

I succeed in living in the moment without a need for big kicks. 


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