Superbia #ouderzonden

Regular readers from Belgian bloggers might have noticed that there is currently a new blogging series launched with the # ouderzonden (#parental sins) by Romina from Big City Life. Once a week, we'll blog about the 7 capital sins of parenthood.

So the question of the week is which parental skills we take pride in.

  • Hugging
I'm an excellent hugger and I need my portion of hugs each morning and evening. I'm always ready to interrupt my activities for some hugs for them and I take the time in the morning rush and at bedtime to spend time with them.  I love to sit with them on my lap and get some quality time together.

  • Empathy and patience
I am way more patient with my children than I ever imagined I'd be before I became a mother.  I turn out to have a great level of empathy that helps me to be patient.   When I'm up for the xth time during a night, I curse  but I curse at a virus, a tooth, .... but I approach the little ones with empathy and understanding that they need to drink once more, have cramps, had a bad dream and need my comforting presence etc.

When they have a tantrum, I do get annoyed but at the same time I keep feeling an understanding and a love for the child that still has to master his emotions when faced with a disappointment , when he doesn't understand a timeline (and "wait a moment" or so) yet, when he doesn't understand when I mean well by forbidding him a cookie before dinner.

So while I used to think that toddler tantrums would wear me out, I can sometimes observe them with a pitying smile.

I do lose my patience though when we need to get somewhere on time and I've asked 10 times already to put on a sweater or shoes and notice that the children haven't moved yet.

  • Telling them I love them and telling sorry when I do something wrong and praising good things
I tell them very frequently explicitly that I love them. Also when I forbid them or have to punish them I try to explain that the reason is that I love them and would feel very sad to see them hurt or ... 

I also have no issue giving them my apologies when I did something wrong.  I also praise out loud when the children do something good.
  • Long-time breastfeeding
I'm almost breastfeeding Beertje 2 years as recommended by the WHO and I've reached 22 months with Kabouter (when my production dropped due to the pregnancy).  For both boys I've pumped milk at work for a year. For both I overcame breast infections, the painfull first weeks, nipple gaps, etc.

I hope this contributed to their health, bonding, social trust, .... (as well as my health benefits!) and our intimate mother-son moments that I treasure very much.

  • I don't feel guilty to be a full-time working mother
I don't have the desire at all to be a mother at home. I work full-time and don't feel guilty for it. The children are often using after school care services where they seem to have a lot of fun. By the time I am done working and at home I am very much looking forward to be with them and in the weekends I focus on family time together.

The combination of working and being a mother, gives me personally the feeling to be a more complete mother. And I give them the example on how women can take up their role in businesses and get a career just like their dad.

  • Persistent
I try to be persistent and consistent: when I say they need to eat 4 more bites from their plate before they can leave the table...I'll keep on repeating it until it happens while I ignore most protests.  I try to give them structure and predictability by doing so and setting boundaries.

(ok ok, sometimes I cave in, sometimes I am simply too tired. And sometimes the children have convincing arguments ;) )

But most of all it's my unconditional love for my children that makes me a good mother. 


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