Ode to 2020

The general tone of (social) media is how awful 2020 has been and that we should all be glad it is over soon to be forgotten quickly.  It is a common opinion that 2020 has been an annus horribilis, which started with Australia being ablaze but quickly escalated with the new virus that took over the world and changed all of our lives quite abruptly.  I realize it has been the most horrific year for many people filled with stress, fear, financial difficulty, solitude, health challenges and loss.  Our year also ended with a loss.  And yet with hindsight and review of the total year, I think the ode to 2020 that I intended to write is still valid. For me personally it has been quite a different year, but I am convinced that to me it has not been a bad year. 

I've missed travelling. It must have been the first year since long that I did not sit in plane at all. I believe I didn't even take a train this year.  The pictures of past vacations coming by in picture memories are bittersweet. 

I've missed gathering with friends more often. 
I've missed walking through the office and crossing colleagues by coincidence
I've missed going to a restaurant more regularly 
I've missed spontaneity

But I've been so blessed because I had to sit through this pandemic year with my family.  I've been blessed with an unprecedented amount of quality time with my family.  I did not have to spend the lockdown restrictions and all the homeworking on my own, which must be awful. Jan's not been travelling anymore since mid-March and when the schools closed for 2 months, we spent a full 2 months non-stop together. I've enjoyed that. When schools reopened I missed my little boys in the house. 

While I usually strive to have one out of 2 weekends "in the Ardennes" because that gives me an empty agenda with just time together with my family, to walk, read, watch tv, ..., 2020 has given me much much more of such empty agenda weekends.  

I've been blessed to be a front row witness on how Kabouter learned to read and write during home school classes while otherwise I would have wished to be  a fly in the classroom to know how such a big milestone is achieved. 

We had a lot of time to teach Beertje to ride his bike

I felt so relieved that my father didn't have to live through these lockdowns and security measures anymore in the care center where he lived during the last months of his life. I felt so relieved that my mother and us didn't have to stress about his health and mental wellbeing while being unable to visit and help as we would have wanted.  We would have been stressed out.

I've been blessed this year to get officially the promotion that I was already doing a few months ad interim and that I liked very much.  Yet I've also struggled in this new role that came with a lot of new responsibilities and a steep learning curve that I am still climbing. I had underestimated the amount of stress that would give me including several sleepless nights and a rollercoaster of emotions.  In a way I am so relieved that I picked up the role in this pandemic year full of lockdowns.  I am glad that I was forced to have an empty agenda after work, that I was no longer commuting to the office (freeing up 90 minutes a day!), that Jan was home co-managing the household and that I no longer had daycare or children's hobbies deadlines to rush for.  I somehow doubt that I would have been able to cope in a "normal" year.  Now it all balanced out much better.

I am convinced that the forced homeworking full of video calls has helped to connect with my new team better - as an introvert - than what I would have done on the workfloor in an open office space.  While managing a team from a distance implies a multiplication of video calls ...seriously my work now consists of one uninterrupted series of video calls...in order to ensure you know how everyone is doing. All spontaneous communication and body language is lost, so I must call and chat and call and chat non-stop.  But all these calls are most of the time individual and more informal (with no interference of others listening or a meeting room to be booked, ...). And since I feel quite at ease with digital communication, I am convinced it has helped me to connect better and get to know each of my team members better. 

I praise myself lucky that I love going for walks or that I enjoy quiet me-time at home (reading, puzzling, ...). I don't need kicks or big crowds all the time to be happy.  Since I have children, I hardly attended concerts or other cultural events, so I didn't have the feeling I was missing out or giving up a lot this year. 

I have rediscovered the beauty of our city Leuven this year, and I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of nature we have closeby.  For 2 months, going for walks in Leuven was our only get-away. And yet I've in all honesty enjoyed them.  We have a great mixture of historic buildings : convents, abbeys, castles, beguinages, ... at walking distance combined with fields, forests, rivers and fishing ponds. 

I have learned to live more in the moment and focus on what I have and can do and not on what I missed out on that moment. I managed to avoid stress by looking forward in the future and thinking of how long we'd still not be able to do this or that. 

I realize we have been lucky to have a 2nd house that has permitted us, as soon as the first lockdown was released a little to have a spot to get away and to take our vacations outside of Leuven and outside the house that also has become my work office. 
Additionally, we've been lucky to have a separate office room in our house, so I could still physically split working time with non-working time. 

I have enjoyed so much take-out or delivered food and we picked-up the habit of delivered groceries

I was happy that the entire situation didn't leave me without job but on the contrary with a boosted workload and good financial results for our company (contrary to the outlook in March and April!).  Job security is a sure blessing at this moment. We were free of financial worries which is obviously a big point in 2020.

I felt blessed to have little children for whom the impact of the lockdowns was far less than for adolescents.  They were lucky to have each other and entertain themselves with sufficient toys at home. At their age social contacts with their friends are not as important yet and as of summer their activities (camps, swimming classes, playground activities, school , ...) all reopened and remained open as usual. 

I enjoyed living in a city that has boosted solidarity in many ways but also provided ample services of help and where security measures seemed to have been picked up by the inhabitants quite consciously.  We also had so many horeca and stores that started up with delivery or take-out solutions so that in the end we could continue to live comfortably, treat ourselves and support local stores. 

2020 brought me

• A last minute vacation that was much closer than we probably spontaneously would have chosen but that was thoroughly enjoyed.
• A rediscovered joy for puzzling
• A renewed appreciation for my own house
• The blessed feeling of solidarity in society    (but on the other hand also the sourness of many)
• Many better conversations online that were less superficial
• An appreciation for things we took for granted such as seeing friends and family, filled supermarkets, toilet paper, science,  internet, a decent haircut, open physical stores, pubs and restaurants, ...
• Online yoga, online workshops, online games, ...
• Creative solutions by so many people: window concerts, garden Christmas parties, walking meetings, companies switching in record time production processes to brew alcogel or sew masks or ... , social distanced filming of my favourite Flemish soap , ...
• Fun with facial masks as a new fashion attribute
• Politics that had to focus on helping society as a whole...forced to bring a story of "us" and not them against me. 
• Science, politics and funding mecenas all collaborating to develop vaccination programs in record time.
• An appreciation for homeworking but also a good insight on the importance and advantages of working in an office   (and hope that the future will bring a good balance of both). 
• The joy of working and living full time with Jan.  
• A conscious appreciation of artists, musicians and concerts and festivals
• Trump losing the elections in the USA.  
• A society that has discovered the joy of walking. Ha I became hip!!
• More visits to the packaging-free supermarket in Leuven thanks to homeworking which enables me easier to go and get something quickly as a break.  
• A record amount of harvested vegetables at our CSA farm
• More contacts with the other parents of the children's classmates that all live in the neighbourhood
• Significantly less driven kilometers which is also to me a significant reduction of a major source of stress
• Better air quality and more room for nature
• A tiny bit more sleep than the year before
• Savings from less travel, less babysit time, less ...  ( compensated by a lot more e-commerce purchases :p) . 
• More relaxed morning times with a new habit of cuddling with Beertje in bed before getting up
• Teaching my mother more digital tools to allow her to better connect with others
• Snow in the Ardennes at the end of this year after missing out on snow for almost 3 years! 
• Friends doing explicit efforts to find ways to see each other and connect in safe ways

No to me 2020 was not an annus horribilis, especially because the years before hadn't exactly been easy for me either.  This year has brought me much needed and appreciated rest and I've enjoyed it.