Thursday, May 11, 2017

Paradox


I miss him nearby
I miss listening to his breathing at night
I miss hearing his occasional talking in his dream
        (especially hearing him talk to/about Sinterklaas in Dec was cute)
I miss walking along both baby beds and see and hear both my sleeping boys next to me

2 floors up seems an eternity
I picture him curled up in a corner of his big bed,
so tiny, high up, all alone by himself on 2 empty floors

I notice I feel relaxed when putting Beertje in bed and he's fussy or noisy.
I'm more relaxed when Beertje wakes up at night.
I realise I've been tense about that for 6 months, despite the fact that Kabouter turned out to be a good sleeper, ignoring his brother most of the nights.

I'm looking forward to moving one of the 2 baby beds out of our room and to planning to move the other one in the future and getting our space back!
I realise I can access my wardrobe after 8 PM again

I stare at the baby monitor and hope to hear his gentle breathing again
I'm glad I can turn off the sound of the baby monitor again when he spends a night of coughing

We read bedtime stories in his new bed and snuggle together in his bed.
I feel so proud when he goes to bed smoothly.
I sneak up 2 eternal floors, on my toes, to go and check upon him when I go to bed and I smile in the dark when I see him sleep under his new duvet.
I smile in the morning when I ask "How did you sleep? "  "Perfect"

I miss him nearby
2 floors up seems an eternity
I'm so glad he's got finally his own proper room now.

I count down a little bit to our vacation when we'll all share one hotel room again
and I realise that it'll be an adjustment again that will be difficult.

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