Grieving is ...

Grieving is...

... longing to be with friends and family while also wishing for solitude and silence
... is not being able to eat when at the table and being hungry in the middle of the night
... is being strong and rational for a much feared task to choose the coffin but tremble and cry over the sudden overwhelming 'responsibility' to shop for a sober black dress.
... losing interest in the news of the day as everything seems so trivial and irrelevant
... sleeping a lot and waking up very tired. My fit-bit claims I hardly get any deep sleep anymore.
... playing with the children and doing some groceries and being slightly surprised that everything seems so normal as always.
... having difficulty to concentrate
... sitting in silence and staring
... switching to a totally new choice of music to support your moods
... being either in a super practical "to do" mode or just the opposite in an extreme "no do anything" mode
... drinking caffeine until you have an upset stomach
... never finished so I'm told very often
... eating too much chips, fast food and delivered meals
... loving my bed so much
... having a big outburst of acne (or maybe that is coincidence, I have no clue)
... feeling weird about posting here happy worry-less posts and yet wanting to pick up normal life and normal day-to-day posts again at the same time.
... being very emotional about other's people's losses and issues
... not having much interest in hobbies and trips
... walking around in the house and constantly wondering why you came there
... being surprised by people reaching out when you didn't expect it at all and being surprised by the silence of others
... realizing how often I've not responded adequately and emphatically to other people's grief in the past.