I'm afraid of the dentist

"If everyone had your teeth, I'd be broke" 

That's a quote of my dentist in my hometown when I grew up.  My dental visits were always limited to a few minutes where the dentist glanced in my mouth and then complimented me and I could jump out of the chair again. Well, now and then he had to clean away some dental plaque.  I was pared from braces and all that kind of joy. The major split in between my 2 frontal teeth that could fit my tongue, disappeared automatically as predicted by him when my wisdom teeth grew in. 

Well then of course I made up all missed work and revenue to him by my "lissle pwoblem" that gave me a subscription of dental work all of the summer when I turned 17 and a crash diet from fluid food for multiple weeks. But all ended well, and I returned to the routine of quick check-ups that were just formalities. 

After living for several years in Leuven already, I decided that it was silly to drive across the country for a 5 minute dental check. I had been very grateful and loyal to my old dentist after all the effort he had done before, literally returning out of vacation trying to safe my teeth after I had literally running after a cute teenage guy.  But in the end I chose to select a dentist at walking dentist from my home. 
During the first control she seemed to panic a little about my gums being withdrawn and she wanted to see the x-rays from my past to check the evolution...next year I brought my old files from my old dentist and then the evolution wasn't so drastic after all. But still...

Then 1,5 year ago I got the news that there was a small cavity in my wisdom tooth.  My little arrogant self-confidence about super teeth got shattered.   "I don't do cavities"...apparently I do after all. Damn.  But it didn't hurt at all so we didn't touch it. I was motivated to do more effort in more rigorous dental cleaning than before because I wasn't exactly a champion in that to be honest. I had super teeth after all, didn't I? 

Now in May my teeth started to hurt.  Not much. But they did. I felt it.  I felt it at night too and I turned around to a different cheek. I brushed more, I cleaned more, I touched with my tongue, I peaked into the mirrow with my mouth wide open.  But my teeth hurt...not one I realised, multiple.  Sometimes upstair, sometimes downstairs. Damn.  I booked a dental appointment, I waited and worried.  I realised my good days were over. I wasn't just going to have a quick check-up.  And hell that stressed me out.

It was with very little confidence that I went.   I got confirmation: my gums withdraw a lot on the bottom and the tooth enamal has erosion...hence the over sensitivity below.  And my wisdom tooth above has a crack (not a cavity), so that needs to get pulled.  Damn. 
While I tensed up all my muscles, the lower teeth got a protective filling layer on top.  Now I wait for my appointment for the tooth pulling since I first needed a good xray (with my sinuses visible) from the hospital.  And for the first time in my life while I still feel the simmering pain, I'm afraid of the dentist.