The mammography paradox

 "Ok can you do one step forward, yes, great and now put your head against this shield...yes, now do a step closer to me...no no that's too much... Yes like that, and turn your hip a bit outward. Good, now put your arm up here around the machine, yes a bit higher and turn your head to the left.  no not that much. 
OK I am going to manouvre you a bit more ..."

(machine squeezes my breast to pulp)

"Yes ok, are you ok, keep breathing right and relax. Ok you need to tilt your other shoulder a bit more backwards if not it'll show on the picture. Ok keep breathing and do relax.  Just a moment, your arm a bit more high here.   
Please keep relaxing, don't forget to relax"






Ugh how on earth do you suggest relaxing while getting squeezed in a twister position??  Oh the suggestions are so ironic ;).