Luxuria #ouderzonden

Regular readers from Belgian bloggers might have noticed that there is currently a new blogging series launched with the # ouderzonden (#parental sins) by Romina from Big City Life. Once a week, we'll blog about the 7 capital sins of parenthood. You can find the participants here.So the question of the week is what do we do to keep on loving ourselves and to bring that across to your partner, now that you are mainly the "mother of.." ?

Self-image and self-confidence
I believe the basis of a good relationship, of intimacy etc is a good self-image and self-confidence.  If you are too selfconcious about your body, it'll influence how you approach your partner and how open you are to receive your partner's affection.

While I'm absolutely no topmodel and while I've just put myself on a diet (ugh...that's another story), I'm not too preoccupied with my body.  My body is fine, with its curved belly that proofs I'm a mom, with its ugly scar that witnesses a past surgery, with its BMI that is normal. I don't carry the burden to try to maintain a perfect image in vain.

Our bathroom is a family bathroom where everyone in our family still walks in and out as needed, without the need of extra privacy. With toddlers in the room, that results in very "honest" feedback and questions on our bodies.  Always fun :D. 

Dress up
While I absolutely adore to be dressed casual (whoohooo for "Decathlon weekend outfits") and while I usually can't be bothered to think long about an outfit of the day, I do feel the need to dress up  now and then.  If I'm home for a while due to illness , homeworking, parental leave and I've been walking too many days in my beloved sweatpants, I start to feel sloppy.

So wearing some nicer office outfits is fun, but when visiting friends and family for holidays and parties, I like to dress up a little bit. I'll never be a glamour queen or fashionista at all, but it's nice to trade in the sweatpants or jeans. Of course taking care of your appearances is also important to keep that spark alive in your relationship.

At this moment I enjoy rediscovering old pieces in my wardrobe that have been neglected over the last years due to pregnancies and breastfeeding outfits. I've truly enjoyed shopping for some new things for the Christmas holidays and I think I'll repeat that in spring. 

It might seem a bit contradictory to list conversations as a key for lust, attraction, intimacy . Gimme the action right away, right?   No seriously, ensuring there is time for good conversations with each other is very important to me to connect with my partner.

To be honest, it isn't always simple to do so in the rush of getting everyone ready in the morning to the places where they need to be (daycare, school, work) work, rush in the evening to get everyone fed and in bed at time after which it's tempting and nice to just crash int he sofa with a laptop in front of the tv. Being a parent and tending children that require a lot of love and attention, makes it harder to spend quality time as a couple. I'm sure that is a working point for any parent couple.

For that reason I love going without children out for dinner...a few hours face 2 face without any other distractions besides good food. Always great :).

Image of parent
Observing my husband in his role as father, is very attractive. I can be seen with a very big smile walking on the street behind Jan and Kabouter hand in hand in a conversation.  Or see him hugging Beertje at the breakfast table. And it fills my heart.

I don't only love him as the partner he is/was before we became parents, but I also love him for being the parent that he is.


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