To drive or not to drive

As of today I am without a car for the first time since my professional life. It's weird to think I've always had my own car for 25 years but now I'll try to go without one, since we still have Jan's car for the family (and there is plenty of Cambio in Leuven if necessity requires)

The fact that I had to hand in my company car has preoccupied me a lot in the last couple of weeks and I felt unconsciously a lot of pressure to profit maximum of those last weeks. I made chore lists where I needed it eg buying some renovation material or drop off stuff at the 2nd hand store after cleaning out the cupboards, ...  

I had also planned to do a little trip while the children were on camps during their spring break. I had the time and the car and since driving long unknown distances is quite a stress/fear factor to me, I challenged myself to some exposure therapy.  My sister agreed to come along and we had planned on purpose rather randomly to drive to Kassel in Germany and do some visiting there.  The distance was challenging enough, the direction and roads totally unknown but it wasn't too far to not have some fun. 

But as of early February my back started to be rather sore. No abrupt movement caused it but while driving I had increasing pain and unlike other times with lower back pain, it stayed for multiple days.  Ugh, what to do.  I visited the doctor, took physiotherapy, took medication, walked a lot and did physical exercises but there was no improvement.  Could we do our trip or not?  I assume the fact that question was in the air didn't ease my own stress and therefore didn't help relaxing the muscles that had to relax. 

To drive or not to drive. Could I drive? What a missed opportunity it would be to cancel it all again. We had totally picked out what we'd visit etc. To add to the dilemma, the weather predictions decreased and there was a serious chance of snow and black ice.  That was just too much.  And we cancelled our hotel booking.  And that sucked big time, it was such an ideal opportunity that I lost.

But my sister and I had committed the time together so I tried to focus on other opportunities.  And we replanned to a train trip to Luxemburg city instead. It was different but at least we weren't going to miss out on some fun sister time together.